Looking back on everything that has happened in 2015, my greatest realisation is that change is the only constant. Heard of this statement before? Because it is so true!
People, feelings, circumstances, plans, jobs, partners, friends etc, everything in life is subjected to change. Nothing remains static. Personally, I think the main reason why people feel pain when they end a relationship or when they lose something in their lives, is basically because of their inability to accept abrupt change, and the sense of attachment which they have with whatever they are losing. It is definitely easier said than done, and dealing with constant changes is a really stressful process.
One of my girlfriends just got out of a long term relationship recently, and conversations about life with her always get me reflecting about some of the changes I’ve had to go through this year.
When someone we love decides to leave us, the first thought that occurs is usually, “I cannot live without this person”. That, in essence, is resisting change. In life, there is no one person who is indispensable, and the moment you start accepting that change is a constant, the time taken to heal shortens by so much, because it means you are placing the focus back on yourself. More often than not, when we fall in love, we lose sight of who we are, and you find your identity becoming a collective one. When you do not evolve together with your partner in a relationship, then the identity crisis comes along. Eventually, when one party decides to leave, one resists the change, because it would mean that the collective identity that one is so comfortable with gets removed, and it is hard to readapt back to life on your own. The whole process of “moving on” is in essence, accepting the change, and then realigning the focus of your life back to yourself. At least this was the case for me.
How do we keep ourselves unfettered by these changes? The answer is, we cannot. The only way to go about it is to basically embrace change as a constant. Sounds simple, but it is in fact an uphill task. Humans have a tendency to stay attached to the things they have and letting go actually entails accepting that life will change from now on. Tough, but I think a good thinking to have is to live in the moment, and be grateful for everything that you have. This thought on its own, will put you back on the path of healing, and leave you amazed at how far positivity can take you.
I hope those who are struggling to cope with change will have positivity to guide them to greater happiness!