Tag: soul-searching

#21- What “Closure” really means

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More often than not, the door is shut on you without you really getting an answer from what you “think” you need to move on to find closure. It could be a relationship, friendship, or family.

Sometimes we spend all our time thinking of finding that closure, but that in itself is not moving on. Actually, closure should be about what you think, what you need to think to make yourself feel better. Most of the time, the closure that you are seeking for, is just your excuse to stop yourself from facing the fact that you are refusing to face up to.

It is definitely very tough to face up to facts. But the moment you let go of your ego and face up to those uncomfortable emotions, your road to recovery begins. Feel what you need to feel, no one has the right to judge you. Recovery is not linear, and you will find that you seem to be on a roller coaster all the time, but that’s alright, because if it makes you feel better, who cares? It may seem impossible, but full recovery is definitely possible, and you will find a new love which makes you so happy, and that is self-love. Happiness is within reach, you just got to take that first step!

Xoxo

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#20- One year wiser

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Funny how happiness is something so simple. I had it in me, all the time. (My lifelong dream still remains unchanged, to be a park ranger in America. grin emoticon )

I’ve never worked this hard or put in this much effort in my life consistently. Yes, it’s really tiring, but the people and the inquisitive mind keeps me going.

Last week I had a small gathering with my birthday as an excuse, with all those who have at some point in my life, made a difference. It was an amazing sight seeing all of these people in one single setting. super thankful to everyone for turning up despite it being a super last minute one. Initially I was worried that it would be awkward, but I think everyone had a really good time and I felt really good!

I’ve never felt this happy before in my life, despite everything that has happened this year. Super thankful for everything that I have right now.

Very very thankful for everyone who is in my life at this moment. Maybe one day we dont hang out; maybe we lose touch one day, but for now, thank you for making my life so awesome!

Happy birthday to me and I really like the new wisdom I’ve gained, shaping this new version of me! smile emoticon

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#16- Disconnect to reconnect

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We are all addicted to the internet, social media, and the whole notion of staying connected. For those of you living in cities, take a look around you, you will notice that everyone is using a smartphone, laptop, tablet, etc. The onset of the digital age has fundamentally hindered our ability to live in the moment. When traveling, the one thing we look for upon arrival is whether we can stay connected, and whether the airport has WIFI connection, etc.  This desire to be connected seems to be an addiction. I am guilty of it myself. When I got to Myanmar, my first purchase was on a SIM card. I told myself that I needed Wifi lest I got lost, but come on, who am I kidding? I obviously wanted to get data so I could connect with my friends on whatsapp, facebook, instagram, etc.

In the last 3 months, the only times I purchased data was Myanmar and Hong Kong. Ironically, I think I enjoyed myself so much more when I was disconnected. I could take the time to think about my own life, where I am at, and soak myself in the sights.I definitely enjoyed the interactions with the locals so much more too!

When I got to Myanmar, there were many times where I had to stop myself from looking at my phone, and refocus my attention on everything that was before me. It was the interactions with the locals that got me thinking about how addicted I was to the internet. Most of the locals did not have Smartphones, and they connected with one another via interaction at the marketplace, which was a boatride away for most people. This was the point where I decided to disconnect and refocused myself on my trip. It was at that point that I began seeing so much more, and captured more precious moments on my camera.

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I doubt I will be getting data for my solo travels in the future. With a more stable schedule in place now, I think I need to #disconnect to reconnect when I travel, as these travels will now be the best time for me to be introspective. Moving away from narcissism and addiction to the social media, I hope to be someone with a bigger heart, focused on reconnecting with the people, the environment, and living in the moment.

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#11- Thoughts on Childhood

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We met this little boy at one of the random pagodas we tried to climb up in Bagan. He was really curious, and yet behaved in a really warm way, sharing about the pagoda with us in whatever little English that he could speak. The bulk of the communication was done through pointing and gestures. At the end, we were thinking if we were supposed to tip him, as this was always the case in SEA. To our surprise, he simply said bye to us, and signaled for us to make our way down the pagoda.

I enjoyed the short encounter with this kid, as this reminded me of the innocence that children have. Circumstances, more often than not, take that right of childhood away from them, evident from the neighbouring countries we have traveled to.

Children should be allowed to enjoy their childhood, regardless of where and what sort of families they are born into, and this is definitely an area I hope to make a difference to, if given a chance to.

As I look at how the children in the city are spoilt rotten with the introduction of first world “necessities” such as Ipads, Iphones, tablets, I cannot help but think that I was lucky to be born into a time where I could enjoy my childhood in a tiny village back in Hong Kong in the 80s, where I lived in wooden houses. Even though we did not have any of the luxury that we enjoy today, I definitely think that we were all happier then. Much of it was filled with running around the tiny village with my neighbours, and getting screamed at by the adults as we ran around the neighbourhood. I think I miss that pure happiness, and am ever more so thankful that I had the opportunity to enjoy my childhood.

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#10- Taking things for granted

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I met this uncle whilst visiting one of the villages in Myanmar. The village had just started to have electricity just 2 months ago, and I could see that they were still trying adjust to the new lifestyle, with firewood placed everywhere around the village. This village had no locks, doors, but with the introduction of electricity, the wealthier families were beginning to build their own wells, so as to have a stake on clean water before everyone else. Seems that as society progresses, the notion of selflessness begins to diminish, and personal gains become prioritised.

Civilisation definitely drives the change in humanity, but I am not too sure if this is a good thing, as I look at how our houses these days have to be locked up, and so many measures have to put in place to ensure that others do not take advantage of another.

On another note, visiting the village was a humbling experience, as it got me thinking about how I should be grateful about the availability of electricity, clean water, which we very often take for granted. The flick of a switch, and the convenience of modern life drives one to take many things for granted. There is just so much in life to be grateful for.

~Ululatetravels

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#9- Hong Kong and Spontaneity

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I chose to travel without my camera this time round, as I figured that it would provide me with alot more mobility, so please excuse the lack of quality in terms of photos.

Just got back from Hong Kong this morning. So many things happened, and reflecting on all the serendipitous encounters and experiences in the last few days, I feel some parts of me stirring as I start pondering about the next steps and priorities in life.

This is the first time in my life where I allowed myself to act on complete spontaneity even though there were financial considerations involved for that decision. I extended my stay, at the very very last minute, cancelled my existing flight ticket back to Singapore, and ended up paying a premium for another ticket back to Singapore.  I also had to bear the cost for additional nights of accommodation as well. I have never done this before, and it was really liberating (albeit the slight tinge of regret when I looked at the bank numbers). However, I do not regret the decision, as the extra time allowed for me to meet so many people, and reconnected with so many different parts of me.

I have always had a sense of detachment with Hong Kong, because it was always just a stopover for me. I never felt any connection with the city even though I spent my formative years here.  There is just this part of me living in nostalgia, thinking about how I used to be really happy, when I lived a much simpler life back in HK as a kid. Taking the time to explore the city all over again has got me rethinking my relationship with the city, and maybe, just maybe, there is so much meaning in this city. It is the people that make the difference, I have no doubts about that. But, there is also that element of reconnecting with the me, before I moved to Singapore.

Maybe, just maybe, Hong Kong might be the answer I am looking for, as I continue on my journey to find that missing piece of me. Which begs the question, what is one’s priority in life? What should be the most important to me right now?

~~ Ululatetravels

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#8- Thoughts Post Taiwan

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Back in Singapore and my second solo trip ended last night. Its been an amazing trip full of firsts. First time trying 檳榔，first time visiting and navigating random offshore islands on my own, driving an electric scooter, crashing a motorbike while trying to drive it for the first time, taking day trips with random strangers who are now my friends, etc. I’ve definitely found out so much more about myself and even reaffirming certain traits, such as how poor my sense of direction and balance are. Despite these,  it has still been amazing finding out so much more about myself. Revisiting old spots just made me realize how far I’ve come from my past, and the need to keep moving forward without looking backwards. Thank you so much Taiwan, I learnt alot the last few days!

Meeting new people and learning more about others makes me appreciate the little things in life so much more. Take for example Jili and his owner, featured above, the bond shared by them is something that I found really precious, and made me think about my lack of time spent with Camry as I have been traveling quite abit the last few months. Perhaps, it is a stark reminder that I should remain in town next week so as to spend more time with my family, friends, and my precious Camry.

~~Ululatetravels

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